On Wrestling with Disappointment
Hi, hi…Recently, I’ve been diving into some tough questions and since part of doing life with people is sharing the messy bits, I wanted to talk about something a little more honest if that’s okay?
I’ve found myself chewing over what to do with disappointment – what to do when life just doesn’t turn out the way you think or hope? On one hand, I believe we have a heavenly father that loves us and desires to give good gifts to his children. I know he promises to work all things together for our good (Romans 8:28) and to give us our desires if they are in accordance with his will (1 John 5:14).
On the other hand, I think we also ask for a lot – which isn’t inherently an issue. First, I have to disclaim, I’m speaking more to a western society context in which the vast majority of people’s basic needs - food/water, shelter, and companionship – have already been met. With that disclosure, I think we’ve been flooded with some prosperity gospel teaching over the years. Becoming a Christian does not mean you will get power, authority, wealth, etc. in any earthly context. God does pour out favor on his people, but that shouldn’t be a reason to follow him. The hard news is God is not a genie in a bottle, and we won’t get everything we want. Also the economy of God does not follow the economy of earth. With both these points in mind, I think we then have to evaluate why we are putting our hope in Jesus in the first place? Is it so we can get something out of it? Or are we clinging to Jesus, because that is the only hope we have and the only peace we’ll ever need?
So sitting in this in between, I have to ask myself, “then what”? It’s this question of how to respond that I’ve been wrestling with if I'm really honest. What do I do when I’m disappointed? Am I able to set aside my preference to see God’s hand even when it doesn’t make sense? What if deep down I see fault in God’s plan for my life, then what? If I’m holding out only for my version of God, where is the real foundation of my faith? What if what I’m asking, hoping, and praying for isn’t a firm promise in the Bible or within God’s will for my life. Beyond redemption (which none of us deserves) what more can I really, truly need? I’m grateful for faithful people who have come before me that I can look to as examples of people who have wrestled well in faith - Hannah (1 Samuel 1-3), David (all over Psalms, check out Psalm 77), Jonah. Even still, from my own experience, the Lord has never once not provided, he’s never once held out on his children — but our version of good and his version of good may look completely different.
So while I don’t really have an answer to all the questions I’m mulling over, last summer the Lord placed the following lyrics on my heart. I found them to reset my mind and help me to sit more contently in the inbetween spaces while I ask for eyes to see how the Lord is at work. These words have helped me shift from the complaining, downcast mindset to one of gratitude for all that I already have in the Lord. I hope you find them comforting if you too are wrestling with disappointment or dreams that haven’t materialized yet.
xo, Cait
Can We Say Redemption is Not Enough?
By C. Lindman
Can we say redemption is not enough?
Can we hold on to the promises, but not the Love?
Is there anything else we can do,
When we look upon Calvary
And see the love poured out for us?
I’ve seen the cross,
The empty grave.
I’ve heard the stories of how we’re saved.
So, is there anything else we can do,
Except to bow before the sacrifice of you?
